Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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