There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
