Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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