Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
