Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
