Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
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