I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
