I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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