Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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