Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize