Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
