it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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