I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
