in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
