"it" just moved
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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