Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
