We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
