He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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