I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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