I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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