I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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