its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
