So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
