I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
