Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
