no. you can't hotbox the world.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
