How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
