I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
this hospital has no fireball
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize