well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
