I didn't shave. On purpose
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
