I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
