Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he shaved USA in his pubs
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize