yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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