So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
