It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
