I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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