Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
