There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
