K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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