they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
