she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
