it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
