Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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