my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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