I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
