Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
honey bunches of taint.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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