My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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