did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
