i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
