I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
