i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
