My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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