So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
