windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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