We won't sleep together?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
