I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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