This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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