He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
