awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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