so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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