Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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